A year in review: The 151 movies we watched for Streaming Under the Influence
As 2020 draws to a much-needed close, we looked back on the bi-weekly bingefest we’ve affectionately called Streaming Under the Influence.
Even though we only started a regular schedule halfway through the year, we still managed to rack up an impressive 151 movies we watched while inebriated. We’ve already mentioned that our formula includes a mix of great films and intentional stinkers, ensuring that we never ended a night complacent about our life choices.
Alex’s Pick for “So Many Things”
John Carter
I find it quaint that our very first official SUI night furnished a movie that continues to nag at my brain, like the beating of an old man’s heart that I concealed in the floorboards. I have a depraved fascination with poorly explained but wildly ambitious science fiction. The hallmarks of this niche genre would be an elaborate world (or worlds) riddled with jargon and multiple clashing hierarchies of storytelling. I didn’t even know this was something I loved until John Carter. I think this was the night that we coined one of my personal favorite criticisms: “This movie is so many things.” Well, it is. Initially, John Carter is told through the lens of a third party that inherited his spooky house. Then John starts narrating, and just forget that first part because just you wait. Carter’s an ex-Confederate captain trying to avoid getting roped back into the war when he accidentally gets transported to a different planet. Now he doesn’t know the alien language, and he can jump high and far, and there seem to be alien class systems and royalty and maybe multi-planetary hierarchies? You sonuvabitch, I’m in. I could try to explain the rest, but I would fail, so why spoil the magic?
Don’t get me wrong, John Carter is not a good film. It’s a huge mess and switches themes constantly. But boy, what a delightfully twisty circus. It still puzzles me, and nothing brings me joy like a Gordian Knot. Other contenders for this category included Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Huntsman: Winter’s War, and Alexander: Director’s Cut. They lived so many lives.
Dani’s Pick for “Well That Doesn’t Hold Up As Well As I’d Hoped…”
Splash
Goodness gracious. I know it’s a crime that I’d never seen Splash before this summer, so I dove into Disney+ fully ready to be delighted by a Tom Hanks mermaid movie. Unfortunately, the modern filmgoer in me had a hard time seeing past all the overt sexism and objectification every single male in that movie embodied. Poor Daryl Hannah is locked in an apartment where she learns English from the TV and then falls in love with her captor? I was grateful to have a themed “Sea-shell-ter At Home” cocktail with edible glitter to drown my feminism sorrows into. There were a lot of other films this year that fell into this category. (Surf Ninjas and Real Genius, I’m looking at you…)
Alex’s Pick for “Do Not Revisit Under Any Circumstances”
Scrooged
This was a hard category to narrow down. We watched some awful movies this year, real garbo. That was entirely our intention though, because sometimes it’s easy to hit this plateau of mediocrity in cinema that fails to evoke any kind of emotion. So I’d rather hate-watch a movie that had no business getting made (Free Birds) than sit through a film that checked just enough boxes to be completely neutral on the cinematic pH scale. That’s a very roundabout way to say that Scrooged takes the cake. What makes Scrooged uniquely terrible is a trifecta of bad ingredients: a premise that ought to be alluring, a renowned comedic actor profoundly disappointing me, and a series of outdated script or directorial choices that serve to further alienate and horrify.
I’ll start by saying the best adaptation of A Christmas Carol is Muppet Christmas Carol. Hands down. But Scrooged, dear readers, is an abomination. The premise of a modern Scrooge story through a corporate lens should be a winner, what with growing wealth disparity and a lack of charity or general kindness. The real killer for me is the performance by infamous party-crasher Bill Murray. We don’t even really understand if he was supposed to be good at being a TV exec, or if he was whiffing it because he’s aloof Bill. Somehow the letdown of 80s Murray really smarts. The final clencher on this ruinous experience is the slew of misguided or outdated choices that make for a real steamer. Murray singlehandedly destroys Bobcat Goldthwait’s life, which somehow culminates in Goldthwait bringing a gun to the office and trying to murder Murray. Yes, it doesn’t hold up. He then holds the studio team hostage as Murray makes a pleafor his solve on live broadcast television. I think that’s really all I need to say, right? I used up all my red flags on those plot points. Really, the only redeeming factor of this film is that they had the insight to adapt Bob Cratchit as Murray’s black female executive assistant. Her Tiny Tim son was mute (and bullied), which were both intriguing approaches, albeit poorly executed. So good on you, creative team, for including at least one person of color. The 80s occasionally surprised us in good ways.
Dani’s Pick for “Please Make It Stop…”
Against the Ropes
There are good-bad movies that are a fun romp when you’re under the influence, and then there are bad-bad movies that make you shout criticisms at the screen the entire movie. This was the latter. We were really excited to see a female-driven movie to include for Sports Agent night, and the fact that it was based on a true story and written by a female screenwriter were total wins. And then we watched it. Boy oh boy, I had some very real feelings about Karens and white saviorism and how the hell this movie even got made. An example – and a spoiler – the climactic boxing match at the end of the film when Omar Epp’s character Luther is quite literally up against the ropes, Meg Ryan’s Jackie Kallen has to make the difficult choice to return to the arena, to walk through the crowd and stand in Luther’s corner of the ring, just to apologize. And her apology and support allow Luther to win the fight. Are you kidding me?! That’s what we’re doing here?! Poor Luther is literally being punched for sport, and it’s the white woman’s magic words that inspire him to win the fight and then share the victory with her? No thanks. I have to believe that we can do better than that as storytellers.
Alex’s Pick for “Why Am I Just Seeing This Now”
Gone Girl or The Artist or Boogie Nights
Okay, okay! Fine! I know! I can’t pick one. I picked three movies for three moods to represent my favorite discoveries this year. Don’t worry, I’ll explain why I chose three instead of one. I’ve missed out on a lot of movies over the year, which is part of the joy of SUI. We get to explore some modern movies as well as classics or old trash. All of these picks are movies that have been out for a while but that I somehow didn’t see until now, and regret having missed.
Gone Girl is my top pick, though it’s not for the faint of heart. I remember hearing the hype when it came out, but didn’t end up feeling the compulsion to see it. I missed out. I knew nothing about the story going into it, so I enjoyed all of the tension that comes with going in blind. Here’s what I’ll say: it has elements of suspense and psychological thriller. If you’re looking for something feel-good or heartfelt, steer clear. But if you want to get into it, and I mean get into it, this one will take you there. Great performances, great script, just great.
The Artist is my feel-good winner for this year. Dani and I spent our first few months of dating watching a lot of classic film noirs for a class I was taking, so we were steeped in Old Hollywood. And I’ll say, I enjoyed more than a few bottomless mimosa naps during those film noirs. The Artist pays darling tribute to the silent film era. It’s all very tasteful and honest, exemplifying the dramatic highs and lows of the time period. We’ll be doing another Hollywood themed night soon, probably with Ed Wood, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and Hail Caesar!
Boogie Nights caught me off guard. I’ve been hearing about it for a long time, but it just felt a little off the beaten path for me (no pun intended). Well, touché, Paul Thomas Anderson. I was wrong, and I’m big enough to admit that (no pun intended). If you’re up for a period drama about the 70s porn industry, get freaky with this film. It’s so worth the ride (no pun intended).
Dani’s Pick for “Pure Delight”
Over the Garden Wall
I’ll be honest with you, kiddos, I’d never heard of this miniseries before in my life. Alex will tell you I’m notoriously picky about cartoons, so I was lukewarm to include this in our Halloween lineup at first. I’m so glad I was wrong. Over the Garden Wall and its ten perfect episodes are a heartwarming tale that took me by surprise. It had all the lore of a fairytale with plenty of twists to keep me on my toes. It had just enough spoopiness to feel like a Halloween fit. It was wonderfully cast and cleverly told and the animation style served it so well. Greg and his relentless optimism and perfect catchphrases have earned him my pick for MVP of this year’s Streaming characters.
As we look ahead into 2021 and what is most certainly at least a few more months of COVID-19 sheltering in place, we’re going to keep on Streaming Under the Influence, and hopefully keep better records. But for now, here’s the complete list of everything we watched:
Sci-Fi Westerns:
Firefly
John Carter
Wild Wild West
Will Ferrell Night:
Zoolander
Night at the Roxbury
The House
90s Mayhem Night:
Hook
Richie Rich
Man of the House
The Rock Night:
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
Race to Witch Mountain
Baywatch
MerMay:
Splash
Thirteenth Year
Beach Blanket Bingo
Baseball Night:
42
Rookie of the Year
Fever Pitch
Teen Literary Night:
She's All That
Get Over It
O
Val Kilmer Night:
Tombstone
Real Genius
Batman Forever
Owen Wilson Night:
Midnight in Paris
Starsky and Hutch
Surfin' USA (July 4th):
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Blue Crush
Point Break
Surf Ninjas
On Ice:
Cutting Edge
Genius
Missing Persons Night:
Gone Girl
Larping Night:
Knights of Badassdom
Role Models
Charlize Theron Night:
Reindeer Games
Huntsman: Winter's War
The Old Guard
Devil May Care Night:
Bedazzled
This is the End
Christmas in July:
The Night Before
Santa Paws 2
Jingle All the Way
Air Terror:
Con-Air
Air Force One
Broken Arrow
Ancient Greek Movie Night:
Alexander
Hercules (2014)
Jukebox Musicals:
Across the Universe
Love's Labor's Lost
Moulin Rouge
Earth's Core Night:
Journey to the Center of the Earth
The Core
Moving Day Movie Night:
Max Keebler's Big Move
Funny Farm
Neighbors
Ancient Greek Movie Night II: The Greek-quel:
Troy
Ladies in Labcoats:
How to Build A Better Boy
Hidden Figures
Radioactive
Escape from an Island Night:
The Rock
The Count of Monte Cristo
Potter Parodies:
Puffs
Wizard People, Dear Readers
American Revolution Night:
Beyond the Mask
Felicity
The Patriot
Age of Silent Cinema Night:
The Artist
Singing in the Rain
Bill and Ted Night:
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
Bill and Ted Face the Music
Halloween: Bad Dreams:
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Don't Look Under the Bed
Predicting the Future:
Next
Only You
Paycheck
Halloween: Ricci-riffic Night:
Casper
The Addams Family
Steve Martin Night:
Roxanne
The Jerk
Father of the Bride
Halloween: Vampire Date Night:
Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire
Interview with a Vampire
Investment Night:
Blank Check
Sabrina (1995)
Wall Street
Halloween: Creepy Mansions:
Ready or Not
Haunted Mansion
Halloween: Lingering Spirits:
What Lies Beneath
Phantom of the Megaplex
The Canterville Ghost
Halloween: Monster Hunting:
The Brothers Grimm
Girl Versus Monster
Halloween: Teen Witches:
Teen Witch
Twitches
The Craft
Halloween: Clear and Present Danger:
The Invisible Man (2020)
The Invisible Sister
Halloween: Grown-up Witches:
Practical Magic
Bewitched
Halloweentown
Halloween: Animation Night:
Over the Garden Wall
Disney's Halloween Treat
Halloween: Halloween Night:
Hocus Pocus
Antebellum
Sleepy Hollow
Election Night:
Dave
Irresistible
The 90s Jungle:
Jungle 2 Jungle
The Jungle Book (1994)
Sports Agent Night:
Against the Ropes
Moneyball
Jerry Maguire
Hanna-Barbera Night:
The Flintstones
Scooby Doo
NSFW Night:
Zach and Miri Make a Porno
Boogie Nights
Thanksgiving Part I:
Free Birds
Addams Family Values
Thanksgiving Part II:
For Your Consideration
Son in Law
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Holidays: Complicated Kringles:
Santa Girl
Noelle
Fred Claus
Holidays: Parade Night:
The Christmas Parade
Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
Holidays: Two Christmasses:
Every Other Holiday
The Santa Clause
Four Christmasses
Holidays: Twin-ter Wonderland:
Switched for Christmas
The Princess Switch
Holidays: New York City Holiday:
Scrooged
Elf
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Holidays: Toy Stories:
The Santa Clause 2
Jingle Jangle
A Very Merry Toy Store
Holidays: The Classics:
The Grinch (1999)
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Prep and Landing
Holidays: Snow-Mania:
Jack Frost
Snowmance
New Year's Eve:
Death to 2020
New Year's Eve
Trial of the Chicago 7